I know I've not been updating here at all really almost since I got the account (half a year and only two pictures is kind of sad, one of them is new and the other was already drawn out awhile back xD) and there is a logic and a reason why, so I'm gonna explain it now instead of just letting another half a year pass by possibly with no new art.

Basically, I am insanely fucking unhappy with my style. It feels like I should be better by now, I mean I've been drawing since I was ten, probably before then. I feel like there are people much younger than me that are better than me and it makes me feel really lackluster and not confident. I do understand, some people have a natural knack for art whereas some people are like me and its something we love, but its not as easy for us.

I mean I could compare myself to my fiance, he seems to be able to draw all his ideas, maybe not as easily as I would think, but he does get a lot more art done than I do. I kinda have to wonder what happened to me, it felt like even though I was less talented back then, I could just draw more things on a whim and without as much thought. Now it seems like I put too much thought into things and eventually lose interest in the ideas or can never draw them as fast anymore.

Another thing that bothers me is my art feels stiff and boring, my poses feel the same way, and its annoying. I think its my insecurity about proportions and about some things I can't draw easily like hands and feet and things like that. Everytime I draw a picture, that's what I feel is wrong, the poses feel stagnant and boring and lack any kind of action that make them stand out at all, which bothers the hell out of me. I want my art to pop, to sort of stand out, even if not all of my characters are interesting appearance wise and so on.

So what I've decided to do is what I tried before and gave up on out of insecurity and worry. I'm going to rip my art to shreds and start anew, all over again from the basics. I plan to learn realistic anatomy, since as many artists advise, learning that before you learn stylized anatomy is the best thing you can do. Plus I mean, I want to be a varied artist, not someone who can only draw in animu proportions or something. From there I will attempt to find the style that makes me happiest and maybe then I will begin posting more and more again. We'll have to see, there's a lot I want to relearn so that I can get better.

SO, basically that's the brunt of it. I had just wanted to make some journal whining about it with no intents to do anything but whine, but I figure whining is nothing and it won't help me out at all. Complaining changes nothing, I have to go out and fix things on my own and fix things I will. So we may or may not see much art out of me for awhile, we'll have to see, it depends on how much I have to learn and how fast I learn it. Starting from the beginning should be a fun journey at least in the meantime :V

ALSO, I know turkey day is soon, so to anyone celebrating, have fun and hopefully have lots of good food. Also to anyone working on Friday, I'm sorry I don't envy you AT ALL, because I don't work that day PRAISE THE LAWD.

So happy Tuesday and happy turkey day, have a blast everyone